Friday, 30 January 2009

The Credit Crunch

Is this something that the humans eat for breakfast?

Everybody is talking about the credit crunch, but when I asked somebody for this at planet Tesco, they said, "We don't stock it mate, but try aisle fourteen for cornflakes."

I decided to investigate further....

I looked in the Mirror and at the Sun for some advice and I discovered that the credit crunch is actually something that affects peoples' pockets: like a disease, it eats away at the things inside.
It seems to be very important to people that their pockets are full, so the credit crunch must be stopped.

Maybe I could use the six brand-new battleships, which have just been built for the British Navy? They cost £1'000'000'000 (one billion) each, so I guess doing something with them may stop the evil credit crunch. 

Or maybe I could ask Man City - a city full of men - to help stop the crunch. The men that live in this city seem very happy and their pockets are overflowing with anti-credit crunch remedies. One of them called 'Robin Ho,' looks like he's up for it, so I will ask him.

"Robin Ho, would you help us defeat the credit crunch with the secrets of your huge pockets?"

"I a no spik inglish."

"Cheers Robin Ho, you're my hero." 

"one a' thousand pounds please."

Okay I get it: just ask people for money, that's it! I decided to ask the people in the street for £1000, but a man with a hairy face who smelled of pigeons, and drank something called 'White Crack Juice,' told me to get off his pitch. I wondered if this was about football again and tried to make a connection with Robin Ho, but I could not. I asked the hairy face what his issue was.

He told me his issue was big and he wanted me to buy it. 

The credit crunch had attacked my pockets though.....

I will tell my planet about this disease when I return.

1 comment:

  1. ha ha nice post mate.

    I think this idea has good potential; it really shows human fallacies in a satirical way.

    I would have enjoyed it even more if 'effects' was 'affects'...

    See you next week, cheers for the game earlier