On January 8th, 2009 (Earth time) I, Conisholme, was left behind on this strange planet after my ship collided with a giant spinning flower called 'Turbine.'
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Catching Waves and Strange Beasts
I met a man called Rad from Austria (I think) with custard colored hair, carrying an ironing board; he told me that I should try and catch some waves dude. When I asked him how I could catch some waves dude, he told me to go surfing.
Ali's Surf Cafe in London seemed a logical place to start looking for waves so I entered the premises and approached an employee.
"Hello Ali, I'd like to surf please," I said to the man behind the counter.
"My name is Gurps," he replied, "but no problem. Would you like half an hour, or an hour of surfing?" I took half an hour and paid him £1 - very cheap I thought.
There was a sign behind his head that said 'web surfing lessons,' I wondered if spiders were involved or it was something to do with webbed hands or feet? Anyway I was more interested in catching waves and regular surfing - sorry normal surfing, we're in England.
Gurps gave me a piece of paper with a code on it and told me to insert it into one of the terminals. But when I sat down I couldn't see anywhere to insert the paper. I asked the girl next to me and she looked at me with a face that looked like it had just sucked a lemon covered in moustaches. "Oh my god! Use the mouse and the keyboard donkey!"
I couldn't see a mouse or a keyboard donkey anywhere and the man from Austria hadn't mentioned any animals would be involved with surfing or catching waves - it's strange, but I expected there to be water involved.
Catching waves is probably not for an alien species like myself, but anyway I was far more interested in finding the keyboard donkey - a magical melodic animal - part instrument, part hard-working midget horse. Maybe there is an electric keyboard donkey, or even better creatures like a hippo flute or a Jack Russell harp?
I will ask the first police officer I see if they can help me find a keyboard donkey. I'm sure the police will sort me out.