Saturday, 24 January 2009

George Bush Eats Fish Food

I met a man called George Bush today.

He wasn't what I expected. I found him in a place called Doncaster, working in a pet shop. The shop was called 'Bushy Beasts and Scooby Snacks,' and inside I found many beasts trapped in small prisons.

George Bush didn't look like he used to be in charge of planet America - he was old, had long hair and ate fish food - but maybe the humans see him differently. When I asked him about his appetite for war, he told me I was getting mixed up with the 'other fella,' but I wasn't sure what he meant by this.

George Bush had a terrible reputation, even back home on my planet, he was known as being an instrument of mass destruction.
I asked George about his complete disregard for the rest of the planet and he replied, 'If you don't want a fish can you get out and stop talking cake.' I wasn't sure what he meant, but I bought a fish called 'Gold'.

It didn't taste very nice.

I will tell my planet about George Bush when I return.

Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Weather McDonald.

Who is this person called: Weather?

Many humans seem obsessed with this person and spend many minutes of the day talking about them. I do not think Weather is a king or queen, because every time they are mentioned the humans always curse.

They either say, 'F**king Weather' or 'Weather is sh*t,' so I am guessing this person isn't liked.

I decided to investigate further.

I waited for the small clucking beast to sing its cackling song in the morning and then sat outside the dwellings of the humans. The first human to appear was big and had no hair; he opened his door, looked up and said: 'Fu*k*ing Weather', then closed the door very hard. The next door to open was across the street. A long-haired human (woo-man) opened the door and said: 'Weathers bad!' I wondered what Weather had done, but it must have been very bad, because the woo-man then revealed a weapon of some kind; in her hand she had a large black mushroom of some sort with expanding black gills and a long trigger or handle. The woo-man appeared to be shooting something into the sky, but the weapon also acted as a shield too, as she hid beneath its silky gills.

I must say I was very confused. I am unsure, whether I can ever, figure out this 'Weather.'

Yet I felt very cold and wet watching these humans.