Many humans believe that love makes the world go round, but I always thought it was something to do with physics. Anyway I decided to investigate this crazy thing called 'love.'
Back home on my planet there is no such thing called love (or hate). Here on Earth love is apparently all around us, including everyones' fingertips and toes - according to a politician called Marti Pellow. I soon discovered that everybody is talking about love and it's everywhere - songs, pictures, newspapers, magazines, food, drink and even dead things.
'Do it with love, send it with love, love thyself, show some love, love somebody, all you need is love, love conquers all, love dumplings...'
But where is it? It's everywhere, but I cannot see it. Maybe it's invisible, or maybe I have been blinded by love? I can't even find any free love, but maybe that was only about a few years ago when humans used to wear sweat bands and eat paper. I asked the people of Cheltenham if they knew where I could get, or see some love. The first woman told me to 'piss off,' whatever that meant, a man holding a spade told me to ask Angel on Filler Street, but the third person told me that it was in my heart. I feel confused by love, lost in the love labyrinth, but apparently I'm not alone and love is elusive to all those who seek it.
After a few days searching for love, I still haven't actually found it. However, I have found many thousands of other people searching for love, also people (usually two at the same time) that say that they are 'in love,' but I don't understand what they mean by this. There are also many people walking around with invisible, but very heavy love rucksacks on their backs - these people have apparently been scarred by love, so I guess it can be dangerous too if it gets angry.
So maybe love does make the world go round, it certainly seems to be a powerful gas, but I cannot be entirely sure as I still haven't found it yet, so maybe it doesn't actually exist at all.
Maybe it's just a word, a magic word, which allows humans to become superhuman and give existence a meaning, much like spinach.